Neighbours: Can't live with them‚ or without

Jan-15th-2012
People expect too much. They should not expect too much from an individual, groups, or neighbours. There should be a limit. There should be a clear demarcation of what can be expected and what cannot be. We need our neighbours in some difficult times. However, not everyone has similar habit and feeling, which makes the relationship between neighbours hard. I refrain from mingling with the neighbours until I know what kind of people they are. I take a step back if they do not understand me.

In the meantime, if we have sudden family problems, sudden health risk, burglars trying to loot, I suppose humanity has not lost its ground. Everybody will help in such situations.

— Saroj Gurung



n It is obvious that neighbours will not always be like those witnessed in television and films. Even then, they are always important to us. I know many times neighbours are headaches for us. However, I do not complain because I cannot complain. With neighbours, there are problems, but what I think is, adjustment is always better than argument. However, we also cannot deny the fact that many time neighbours are helpful.

— Began Sipai Shrestha,

Old Baneshwor



n There is nothing that cannot be solved through talks. Discuss with that person but do not argue. Provide honest and positive criticism. Be careful to choose appropriate words. Remember; hate the person’s behaviour instead of his/her individuality. Rather what you can do is treat the person with respect and courtesy, which will confuse the person.

If the person understands and wants to improve his/her behaviour, then let that person save his face. However, if people choose to continue the same behaviour, then they really need help! Remember that, a person’s character is not only judged by the company they keep but also by the company they avoid. Therefore, ignoring that person could be the best solution in this case.

— Retina Shrestha,

New Baneshwor



n Having a neighbour is obvious and at the same time, they are helpful in many conditions. However, sometimes they are so irritating and I do have such a neighbour. I would like to share what it feels like and what I do in those situations. Usually neighbours come to our house and we visit theirs. However, what I do not like about their visit is; they go to the bathroom and use a lot of water. Though they have plenty of water at their house, they always come to use water at our house. Nonetheless, I don’t mind them coming to use water if they genuinely have problems. I handled the situation by telling them that they should use their own water and I told them directly. Since then, they do not come to our terrace fearing that I would come and scold them.

— Moin Uddin, Ghattekulo



n I totally agree with the fact neighbours are highly essential in Nepali society and they play an important role during time of need. They also help us when we ask for their assistance, but we should also agree with the fact that sometimes they want to interfere in our personal matters, which is very annoying. It is not that they are ignorant, they know they shouldn’t interfere, but don’t bother. Moreover, they keep backbiting. Therefore, in this case, we should not be rude and angry while dealing with them, but we should be polite and sweet and request them to mind their own business. In this way, we can keep good relation with them and can get their support and help whenever necessary.

— Pratik Shrestha,

Buddhanagar, Baneshwor



n Human beings are social animals. However, being in close connection with the neighbours solely depend on the personal behaviour, as being very extrovert, introvert, or maintaining a balance between the two. Neighbourhood is very important for all human beings that help us maintain a certain status.

Be polite and pleasant to them, but as soon as they start prying in your personal business, it’s time to suddenly remember something you forgot to attend. For instance, ‘Oops, I’m supposed to give my mother a call, will you excuse me?’ In addition, if you’re lounging in your backyard and nosy neighbours decide to peek in, say hello to him/her in a really loud voice. They’ll be too embarrassed to try that foolishness again.

However, we all know neighbours are very important to live in a society, and here is a small quote ‘A good neighbour is even more important than siblings living far away.” Even I do have affectionate relation with my neighbours, but I know my closing edge too.

— Jigyasha Pokhrel (Mishra), Boudha, Kathmandu

n In my experience, it is very difficult to politely deal with nosy people in our country because they have this curious habit to talk and care about others but I’ll try to handle such situation when needed.

Firstly, I’ll try to do something that will make the situation

better. I don’t want to hurt

anyone’s feeling. I do, at times, tell others to leave me alone

and I don’t care what they think. I know myself, besides I’m not hiding anything, just validating my privacy.

Most of the nosy people are bored and unsatisfied with their own life and they have to violate everyone else’s rights as an amusement. I make it clear that such people will not be entertained from my side. Most people are judgmental of other and to waste time in this is nonsense.

Similarly, I deal with a nosy person by letting them know that I haven’t violated their privacy, therefore they have no reason to violate mine. Anything I do in my life is my own problems and my private issue.

— Anita Chaulagain,

Mid-Baneshwor, Kathmandu



n While shifting to a new place the first and foremost thing that comes to our mind is the location and people around it. Because, as a social animal we cannot think of living without association and it is the neighbours who play significant role in our social life. Thus, being someone’s neighbour means shouldering a huge responsibility and a great

challenge.

Having a sense of humanity and compassion, cooperative attitudes, selfless ness are some of the characteristics of good neighbours. But our general tendency is that we expect from others and refrain from it when it our turn to help. While expecting from others we completely forget that change begins from within. So if we expect our neighbours to be, good, polite and decent, let us observe the same discipline from our side. Learning by imitation is human nature and our patience would definitely bring positive changes among our neighbours.

— Ambika Pandey



n I take pride in the fact that we are having a close relation

with the neighbours in the society. Helping them at times of need is always on top of the list of priorities and being social animals, we, irrespective of caste and creed, proudly volunteer to help them in whatever way

we can and vice versa. In fact, everyone in the society is ever ready to help the neighbours. ‘Help and get help’ has always been a kind of slogan in the society and all the neighbours have fondly upheld it.

Living in the midst of neighbours in a multi-ethnic, multi-religious and multi-lingual society like ours is definitely not so easy. It will be difficult when we have to tell our neighbours to mind their own business politely when they start taking interest in matters that does not concern them. Being polite works wonders and telling them politely that it was just a personal matter wins their heart. I just invite them over tea at home and tell them everything ... politely!

— Krishna Kumar Limboo, Bara